Dear Senator Franken

To Whom It May Concern:

Hi Franken Team! That’s a fun name. I hope you call yourselves that.

Dear FCC

FCC Logo

To Whom It May Concern:

Thank you for limiting prison phone price gauging.

It is so great that the FCC did the right thing in making prisons slightly less about profit.

Sincerely,

Rachel L. Arbeit

http://gawker.com/fcc-orders-prison-phone-companies-to-stop-gouging-inmat-1738260315

Dear NFL

To Whom It May Concern:

As a New York Giants football fan, last Sunday night was rough for me. One of the most difficult parts of that frustrating and tough loss to the rival Dallas Cowboys, was two terrible calls by the officials. On Thursday, the NFL told the team that they did make mistakes in important calls in the game. This only adds to the frustration of a very imperfect game.

Dear Morgan & Morgan Law Firm

To Whom It May Concern:

I see your firm works with class action suits. While I don’t really understand the law enough to know if this really qualifies – and it probably doesn’t and/or doesn’t appeal to your interest because there’s no monetary compensation the be gotten by this, I’d like to request you consider a suit against “news” websites that post opinion in a misleading matter, where it can be easily mistaken for fact.

Dear SB Nation

To Whom It May Concern:

I have an idea: since the sports world lacks female voices even though there are a lot of lady fans, why don’ you employ a woman (me) to have a SB Nation connected blog about NFL Survivor pools? C’mon, it’ll be fun!

Dear Ergobaby

To Whom It May Concern:

Ergo Carrier – Infant [NOTE: My baby is cuter than that baby, that woman is better looking than I am – not that it matters, just so you know]

Thank you so much for having such a terrific product! You’ve made my first months of having a baby in New York City (NYC) terrific. Being able to parent hands-free is tremendously helpful.

Dear Fox News

To Whom It May Concern:

GOP 2016 Prez Nominee Wannabes: The Top 10

Thank you for putting together the first episode of GOP 2016 Candidate Talk Time! I was very pleased with its entertainment value. While your team asked some excellent questions, I’m writing to suggest you tweak your format a little bit, so that actual answers will be provided to the viewers.

Dear Netflix PR

Dear Netflix PR,

I was very pleased to read your new family/parental leave benefits, but would like you to clarify who this policy applies to.

Dear McDonalds

Dear McDonalds,

Arches Are Only Golden for the Top Level Executives… they’re made of cheap floppy fries for the rest

Please consider being proactive and raising wages for low-level employees before you are forced to do so. It’ll be good PR and it won’t ruin your business.

Even if your CEO can’t stand to pay himself less than $9 million a year, this can work.

Dear E!

Dear E! Entertainment Television,

Pop of a culture that is great to hate.

I am writing to propose a new show for your cable channel called “Haters” (or “H8ers” if you really want to assist in the destruction of the English language.