Dear E!

Dear E! Entertainment Television,

Pop of a culture that is great to hate.

Pop of a culture that is great to hate.

I am writing to propose a new show for your cable channel called “Haters” (or “H8ers” if you really want to assist in the destruction of the English language.

The show would be myself (cause why not) and two others. Act I would consist of a brief news recap, complete with comments of disgust and dismay for the easily hated. Act II would be a more in-depth conversation about the awful existence of public people, mostly from other shows on your network. Act III would be real, hard-hitting interviews with hated celebrities, allowing them an opportunity to explain themselves, justify seemingly strange actions, reveal possibly humanizing characteristics and even possibly express regret.

Consider me in the role of a MUCH younger and completely inexperienced, but unafraid Barbara Walters. I wouldn’t be there with a team to attack a guest, but to ask more appealing questions like, “Brody Jenner… are there any sexual experiences you will not address on your show or are you so used to being in the public eye that privacy is just totally off the table for you at this point?” or “Joel McHale… of all the shows you’ve covered on the Soup, which one is the worst that you wish never existed for humanity’s sake and which is the worst, but in a way that you love?”

The Kan't-Stand-Em Kardashian Klan (KKK) (aka E! Royalty)

The Kan’t-Stand-Em Kardashian Klan (KKK) (aka E! Royalty)

Kindly call or e-mail me so we can take the necessary steps forward in making this cheap-to-make and obviously terrific-to-enjoy program a reality.

Rachel L. Arbeit


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