Dear Help Wanted Ads

Dear Help Wanted Ads,

Please post a salary range on job postings! It is imperative to know this information when deciding on employment. I am simply requesting this on behalf of the job seeking community.You know, the more than 10% of people who are going absolutely crazy because of ads that are filled with general terms, non-specific requirements and simply state “DOE” (depends on experience.) I am confident this term really means, “we will accept the lowest bidder.”

I do not want to go to waste time applying for positions that pay minimum wage to poverty levels. Employers do not want to waste time reading applications from candidates who are not interested in internships anymore. Let’s help each other, help ourselves! Or something motivational Jerry Maguiresque.

There are too many people applying to all available jobs right now. Let’s make it a little easier on everyone involved and narrow it down by including pay ranges.

Sincerely,

Rachel L. Arbeit


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Dear Metro North

Dear Metro North,

I am writing to complain about service this morning, February 15th, 2010. Like other humans that are imperfect, I was running late for the 10:23am train out of North White Plains. I ran up the stairs, purchased my ticket from the machine and looked for information about what track my northbound train would be arriving on.

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Published in: on February 15, 2010 at 5:41 pm  Comments (1)  
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Dearest Def Jam

Dearest Def Jam Records,

How dare you let the Roots become Jimmy Fallon’s band? I was at the taping of the Jimmy Fallon show because it’s free (as it turns out, you get what you pay for) and was furious to see the Roots there.

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Dear Anheuser Busch

Dear Anheuser Busch,

I am writing to suggest a Bud/Bud Lite combo 30-pack. Some people prefer lite beer, while others prefer original. These two types of people do socialize together. Even though the option exists to buy separate quantities of each variety, I feel there is a market for the Bud/Bud Lite combo pack. There is a value associated with the ease of purchase which could be built into the price.

Please consider adding this to the Budweiser selection. I know I’d buy it all the time.

Sincerely,
Rachel L. Arbeit