Dear Spencer Gifts

Dear Spencer Gifts,

Some of us like add a little extra special sexy into our lives every ten to twelve weeks or so, and expect you to carry a sophisticated line of products to assist in such goal. Unfortunately, I think that the current line of edible underwear that is sold in your store is not the best line available.

I recently purchased a pair of edible undies from your specialty store. I was surprised to see a warning on this product that read, “Do not swim for fifteen minutes after consumption.” It appears as though the manufacturing company, “Delicious Delights Downtown” is run by men.

Additionally, the item is only available “one size fits all,” which is a blatant lie. If that was true, there wouldn’t be sizes at all.

The market for secretly stashed junk food that has the purpose of making the term “eating out” literal demands for a serious product, complete with options for appropriate fit and, maybe sometime in the future, flavor preferences (not cherry, though).

Please consider finding, developing and distributing the aforementioned currently non-existant product line.

Thank you,

 

Mock O. Ree

Vice Management

DISGracement, Inc.

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