Dear SB Nation

To Whom It May Concern:sb nation logo

I have an idea: since the sports world lacks female voices even though there are a lot of lady fans, why don’ you employ a woman (me) to have a SB Nation connected blog about NFL Survivor pools? C’mon, it’ll be fun!

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Dear Ergobaby

To Whom It May Concern:

Ergo Carrier - Infant [NOTE: My baby is cuter than that baby, that woman is better looking than I am - not that it matters, just so you know]

Ergo Carrier – Infant [NOTE: My baby is cuter than that baby, that woman is better looking than I am – not that it matters, just so you know]

Thank you so much for having such a terrific product! You’ve made my first months of having a baby in New York City (NYC) terrific. Being able to parent hands-free is tremendously helpful.

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Dear Fox News

To Whom It May Concern:

GOP 2016 Prez Nominee Wannabes: The Top 10

GOP 2016 Prez Nominee Wannabes: The Top 10

Thank you for putting together the first episode of GOP 2016 Candidate Talk Time! I was very pleased with its entertainment value. While your team asked some excellent questions, I’m writing to suggest you tweak your format a little bit, so that actual answers will be provided to the viewers.

(more…)

Dear Netflix PR

Dear Netflix PR,Netflix Logo

I was very pleased to read your new family/parental leave benefits, but would like you to clarify who this policy applies to.

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Dear McDonalds

Dear McDonalds,

Arches Are Only Golden for the Top Level Executives... they're made of cheap floppy fries for the rest

Arches Are Only Golden for the Top Level Executives… they’re made of cheap floppy fries for the rest

Please consider being proactive and raising wages for low-level employees before you are forced to do so. It’ll be good PR and it won’t ruin your business.

Even if your CEO can’t stand to pay himself less than $9 million a year, this can work. (more…)

Published in: on July 22, 2015 at 9:11 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Dear E!

Dear E! Entertainment Television,

Pop of a culture that is great to hate.

Pop of a culture that is great to hate.

I am writing to propose a new show for your cable channel called “Haters” (or “H8ers” if you really want to assist in the destruction of the English language.

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Dear Congresswoman Nita Lowey

To Nita Lowey,

Please do your job of representing people, not big chicken corporations and help America’s farmers be able to make 1/10,000th of the living their corporate overlords make.

(more…)

Published in: on May 18, 2015 at 3:40 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Dear Perdue

To Whom It May Concern:

Big Box Chicken Dicks

Big Box Chicken Dicks

After learning of your company’s treatment of farmers on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, I’d like to inform you that Perdue products will no longer be served in our household until your company compensates its farmers with a living wage (which is above minimum wage – as that’s not a living wage – and above any and all poverty lines).

(more…)

Published in: on May 18, 2015 at 3:29 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Dear Animal Planet

To Whom It May Concern:

Extreme Dog Makeover!

Extreme Dog Makeover!

I just went on an awesome vacation to Peru. There are a lot of stray dogs there, and it made me have an idea I think you should consider…

(more…)

Published in: on July 22, 2014 at 9:21 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Dear New York Assemblymen Gottfried,

Dear New York Assemblymen Gottfried,

Recycling is Good!

Recycling is Good!

I am writing to request that the New York State Bottle Deposit be raised to 10 or 15 cents.

(more…)

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