Dear Governor Dayton

Dear Governor Dayton,

While Not Many Americans Make Minimum Wage, Those Who Do Suffer For It

While Not Many Americans Make Minimum Wage, Those Who Do Suffer For It

While I appreciate reading about your bill to increase minimum wage, I am disturbed by the fact that your bill will take two years to fully come to fruition.


Unfortunately, our business society is aimed at having the lowest expenditures possible at the expense of our own people.
The minimum wage function is broken. If it kept up with inflation, it would currently be $10.10 per hour. But the federal government has gone corrupt, paid off by the corporations to give up on the little guys.

Even $9.50 an hour is arguably not a living wage. My hope is that all states or the federal government will raise the minimum wage to over $10 per hour and see food stamp and welfare recipient enrollment numbers drop, at the expense of $1.50 menu  prices at McDonald’s, $12-priced jeans at Wal-Mart and, perhaps, a million dollars less in salary for CEOs.

But regardless of all that, I thank you for your attempt to help and request that you expedite the increase to be required sooner, like by the end of this calendar year.

Your residents and non-residents alike will thank you and appreciate the true public service!


Rachel L. Arbeit

Dear Mitch McConnell

Dear Mr. McConnell,

Truth Be Damned. GOP Agenda Forever!

Truth Be Damned. GOP Agenda Forever!

Please do not speak useless rhetoric about President Obama being against women because poverty has been increased… something your party is more responsible for with your anti-raising the minimum wage and anti-equal pay legislation!


Dear NFL

Dear NFL,

Like many other NFL fans, I was surprised to find out that running back Darren Sproles found out about the Saints plan to release him via Twitter (and he seems like such a nice guy, too). It’s disappointing that a professional league doesn’t require its teams to have more personal and respectful ways of communicating with their players.


Dear My Fox NY,

To Whom It May Concern:

I love your Fox Investigates segment! junk mail

My day job is in office administration. The office I work at receives unwanted magazines and catalogs on a daily basis. I’ve tried e-mailing and calling to request to be taken off these mailing lists, as it is a waste of environmental resources to print and deliver these superfluous items.


Published in: on March 3, 2014 at 8:34 pm  Comments (1)  
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Dear Ghost Bikes

To Whom It May Concern:

A Ghost Bike Thingy

A Ghost Bike Thingy

While I appreciate your sentiment, the ghost bike memorial bicycle on the spot with a sign reading “Cyclist Struck Here” thing needs to be discontinued.


Dear Bill Simmons,

To Whom It May Concern at Grantland:

Seeing as you came up with the brilliant Challenge Fantasy League, I was wondering if you could help me create an Alternative Statistically Satisfactory (ASS) Fantasy Football League.


Dear Louis CK’s People,

To Whom It May Concern:

Just read about Louis CK developing more shows for FX.

I dabble in the comedy thing and host TriviaTryst bar trivia in NYC. If you are looking for ideas, I think a TriviaTryst drinking pub quiz game show would make for some terrific TV. Sure, the drinking thing may have some liability issues, but we can get some lawyers on that or save money and not give the contestants booze – whichever you want, since you are the boss.

I mean, come on, there have been no new good game shows in a while and I’m sitting on years of hosting experience and questions.

Kindly consider this potentially amazing television opportunity.
Thank you for reading this e-mail!


Rachel L. Arbeit

Dear Michele Bachmann

To Whomever Is In Charge of Michele Bachmann’s E-mails,

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common folk, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish that you, Michele Bachmann, need to resign from “service” to the United States of America.

Rachel L. Arbeit + Most of the other 316+ million people in this country
Published in: on October 16, 2013 at 2:29 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Dear U.S. Government

To the intern reading this e-mail:

Please can we not get involved with Syria? We waste so much money dropping bombs, why? Cause we can?

Can we please not be Team America World Police?

Can we invest our own money in ourselves? Maybe lead by example? Sure, we don’t kill our own people with chemical weapons, but the American government isn’t great to Americans. That’s why we have such bad poverty and put more people in jail than anywhere else in the world. Instead of giving people opportunity, the American government supports the wealthy and leaves the rest with little tools to figure it out on their own.

Can we please not tell everyone else what to do until we do it well ourselves?

But Diane Feinstein is all, “It’s important to the security of the Middle East and to the security of the world.” Guess what? There’s no security in the Middle East or the world! So just like a “war on terror” is a fight against a concept that will always exist, fighting for “security” is aiming to make real a concept that, sadly, will never exist.

On simpler terms, certainly dropping a bomb is a bad symbol for security, right?

Nothing like saying “don’t kill people” by killing people.

Also, I voted for Obama over McCain and now I’m rooting for McCain to win us not going to Syria? That makes as little sense as the plan to attack Syria.

Please U.S. government… while you’ve never proved trustworthy, I ask you to maybe, just maybe surprise me by not being stupid.



A Lot of Americans

Dear Delta

Dear Delta,

Seats that look like they work

Seats that look like they work

You e-mailed to ask how my flight was? Oh, I’ll tell you how my flight was.

It was alright.

It would have been nice, however, if the flight attendants would have actually tried to reset the entertainment units in our row when they said they would.

In-flight entertainment systems provide sanity for cross-country flights, so when the service is lost, it is disappointing. Especially, when it is only lost in the row you are sitting in. This problem was, thankfully, fixed, after repeated requests to have it fixed.

As a former flight attendant, I understand that there is a lot of in-flight work to be done, such as gossiping, wiping down the galley counter a hundred times, reading People magazine and trying not to fall asleep. However, walking through the aisle and maybe seeing if anyone needs you and/or offering water, is sometimes a good way to spend some time.

In order to get the flight attendant’s attention, we had to ring the call bell, which I hate doing cause the ding is annoying and it’s like snapping at the waitress: it’s rude and you shouldn’t have to do it because the person should just kinda be around.

Then, of course, the flight attendant never rebooted and never came back to see if it worked or if anyone wanted anything, just went back to disappear. So we had to hunt down another flight attendant who, thankfully, rolled her eyes and had the lead flight attendant do it.

So we got to see a movie, but not without practically begging.

Our experience was, as usual, disappointing. However, we will likely fly Delta again because you guys fly everywhere and are cheap and we like to fly everywhere and be cheap.

Also, I was the one who booked the tickets for myself and my companion, Chris, on my credit card and you e-mailed me… yet the e-mail read “Dear Christopher.” If you need/prefer his opinion, please have that experience by simply cursing yourself off.

Rachel L. Arbeit


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